Posts by Frazzled UBM

19

How many Un-Believing Mates (UBMs) are on here?

by The Song Remains The Same in

this site really helps.. own up, are you a ubm and how do you cope?.

i am really struggling to put up with all the nonsense.

my wife has some mental health issues which are not solved at all.

Frazzled UBM

As my tag shows - I am a UBM and have been struggling with that status like most of you and can relate to a lot of what you other UBMs have written above. I am encouraged to see so many UBM brothers and sisters (sorry but couldn't help appropriating that bit of JWspeak) here.

The Song Remains the Same (I am of an age that I understand that Led Zeppelin reference - I owned the album) - I really understand what you say about how maddening and frustrating it is to watch how the WBTS phobia indoctrination f'cks with our loved ones pysches and rationality and how we have to sit back and watch because there is nothing that we can say that will get through to them. What I have learned thanks to the wise counsel of jgnat and others is to stop trying to use logic and instead to use love and understanding as a way to show her who it is who really cares about her and make her want to prefer to spend time with me and my son rather than at meetings. This seems to be working as she has been missing her Sunday meeting and field work more than she has been going. But as jgnat says this can pose problems in itself as she doesn't announce this in advance so my son and I have to adjust our Sunday activities to accomodate her and she spends the first part of the day feelign guilty about not going - still I prefer this to her getting another does of indoctrination.

Could all you UBMs say where you live so we can see about getting together in the real world (as opposed to cyberspace)? I live in London and I know jgnat is in Canada. What about everybody else?

Simon - any chance for a UBM folder on JWN so we can chat about UBM specific issues and encourage more UBMs to sign up?

30

Is there anyone out there who married a non jW...?how did it turn out for ?Are u happy?

by Chichi89 in

jw
friends

please be honest....did love conquer it all?.

how did u make it work?.

Frazzled UBM

mamochan said (9 months ago) - 'I think the key with their relationship, though, was that my dad let her completely control everything about religion in our house, including raising us kids.' I wonder whether you resented him for not standing up to her and protecting you from the WT. He sounds like he was either very naive or very weak. I think my JW wife appreciates being married to me rather than a brother who would not provide for her emotionally and financially to the same extent, even though the elephan descirbed above is a constant problem. Still, she seems to making progress in waking up and has missed a lot of meetings recently. I hope after 10 years of marriage she feels about me the same way quellycatface feels about her hubby. As I have said to her: 'I hope one day you realize that I was the best thing that ever happened to you.'

18

Here comes death again

by Decided in

jw
friends

my wife's brother died and an old friend i have known for years died also.

they both were within a few years of my age.

kind of scares me.. there were several others my wife knew died last week too.. ken p..

Frazzled UBM

Wow pallbearer, you are a cheery soul now aren't you? Yes deathy is inevitable but all the more reason to get the most out of life while we have it.

24

Nightmares when active JW

by MissConfused in

i remember when i was active, i would constantly get nightmares regarding armageddon.. used to wake up so many times at night watch my window, pray hard and try to go to sleep.

now i wonder that this organization was really succcessful in making people scared to death about 'current system of things', but why would anyone do that?

why would anyone want to bring division in families, make hate speeches, scare people to death, etc?

Frazzled UBM

When I went to the dentist with my wife, the dentist identified that she grinds her teeth when she is sleeping and said that is usually a sign of high anziety. My wife denied that she is anxious and denies having trouble sleeping but I cannot help but feel that fear of Armageddon (and everything else) does make her fearful and is behind her teeth grinding. She does admit that she does worry about me and my son getting killed when the big A happens. My response is to tell her that if she woudl just listen to what I am trying to tell her she would realise that she has nothing to worry about. As to why the WBTs dpoes this - it is obvious you create phobia so you can represent your self as the safe haven to protect against the phobia. Cult indoctrination 101.

6

WT and the Wizard of Oz

by Junebuggie in

off to see the wizardmany will easily recall the story of "the wizard of oz.

" curiously, we can gain some insights about spiritual authority from this popular tale.

dorothy, the scarecrow, the tin man and the cowardly lion go to the wizard because they believe he has the power to give them what they need.

Frazzled UBM

Junebuggie

I took my wife and son to the Wizard of Oz some time ago and then someone on this site, Blondie I think, talked about looking behind the curtain and the penny dropped so when we were talking about musicals recently and my son asked me what was my favourite musical and my favourite bit part I talked about that scene (and my son is going 'why is that your farvourite? I don't understand") and then I looked my wife straight in the eye and said - "It is time you looked behind the curtain." Initially she looked perplexed and then very uncomfortable so I think it had the desired effect.

Frazzled

167

this site sucks! its just a buncha athiest on soap boxes.

by crossquestions6995 in

jw
friends

this site is not a healthy forum for discussion or healing.

its an arena for jaded athiests to bash anything christian or god related.

yes, i know the jw's lied to us about god and the truth.

Frazzled UBM

SFPW - your timing is fantastic - you know how to just stir the pot perfectly by saying those things (dripoping with irony) guaranteed to elicit an impassioned response from an apostate - just throw in the hook and line and see how many you can catch hey? Too much fun! Nothing wrong with a bunch of atheists arguing doctrine with a bunch of Christians as long as they are not an intolerant self-righteous bunch of atheists. Arguing about the existence of God is not a new thing.

19

Why has nobody started a petition or writing letters to congress, etc?

by EndofMysteries in

i can't be in the spotlight as starting this because of a family member.

but i wonder why there is no big change.org type petition going on with hundreds of thousands of signatures, etc.

or putting together a nice letter about how jw's religion breaks up families, claims to want religious freedom but those of us born in, or just in, are forced to accept their lies and anything they say or get shunned, and the devastating emotional, etc, effects on people.

Frazzled UBM

I think there is a serious question to be asked about the conflict in law between freeedom of religion and the rights of parents to bring up their children as they see fit; and child abuse from indoctrination into a high control religion that uses fear to exert psychological control. As freedom of religion is a political no go zone it would take a lot for law-makers to recognise that something needs to be done. But if all of the expereinces relayed on this website and other similar websites could be collated and presented through the media and lobby groups to goverments and international organisations on a global basis and in a coordinated way it may have some impact. But this would take time, reources and organisation.

54

Wife and kids are officially OUT!!

by Oneoutallout in

my wife has told her jw best friend and jw sister that she is givng up the religion!!

and there was i worrying about losing her when i left the cult.

and, to top it all, my 15 and 13 year old children are using their critical thinking skills and can see it all for what it is.

Frazzled UBM

That's great!

27

Do you give thanks for every meal?

by bruh in

do you give thanks for every meal or do you thank god once for the whole day of meals???

is thanking god for every meal scriptural or something that came along in early christianity ?

?.

Frazzled UBM

My wife had some of her Witness friends over for dinner and I cooked up a barbeque and when the food was ready I called 'dinner is served come and get it' at which Mrs Wtiness says haughtily 'Can't we say grace first?' at which I demurred then Mr Witness did his whole 'Thank you Jehovah' BS in English even though the native language of all the Witneses there was Tagalog and my son and I were the only native English speakers - so the point was to rub it in opur faces. I keep on replaying this scene in my head going why the hell didn't I say 'We don't usually say grace in my house but if you insist on giving thanks you can give thanks to me for paying for the food and cooking it.'

95

Emergency relief fund for the Philippines. How will it work.

by joe134cd in

i was just thinking it will be interesting to see how the wts emergency relief fund will operate in the philippines.

ok it worked well with the storm in florida, with cashing in on the insurance cheques.

sorry to generalize, but americans have the disposable income, and the insurance polices for things like this - a thing the wtbts finds very attractive.

Frazzled UBM

SFPW - I love your quote: 'We are usually amongst the first to arrive and provide support not only for our brothers and sisters affected by any tragedy, but for anyone in need of assistance. I always find it encouraging to see pictures of ones affected by this tragedy carrying Bible Teach books. That lets me know we're doing our job.' This proved the point I was making above. I still think your comments are made ironically because I find it hard to accept that anyone on this chatsite would say such things seriously. The WBTS encouarges Witnesses to be like vultures turning up at disaster sites trying to push the propaganda to those who are vulnerable rather than providing the humanitarian aid that is actually required. I would be interested to hear from SFPW as to whether the Super Typhoon was an act of Jehovah as a sign that the GT/big A are coming soon or wheterh is was an act of man as a result of global warming (which I think is not an unreasonable argument) and shows how man's evilness is destroying the planet the big J gifted to us. The latter argument, while being consistent with general WBTS propaganda does not fit with the Bible, which makes the big J the architect of natural disasters.